The Female Lead Read online

  When I was 13 years old, I decided to leave North Korea and asked my mother to come with me. My father was really sick and had leave from the prison to come home – he had to go back once he was healthy again. We didn’t have anything to eat but frozen potatoes and we didn’t have enough of those. I felt I just couldn’t die from disease or starvation. We lived in the border area and could see that China had lights, which we did not. I thought if we went to China we might find something to eat.

  The man who bought me offered me a deal, that if I became his mistress, he would buy my mother and bring my father from North Korea.

  So, in 2007, my mother and I crossed the river into China. We thought we were going to be shot by the guards at the border but we survived. When we got there, a Chinese trafficker was waiting for us. Some people try to take advantage of North Koreans in China. They rape, sell or even kill us and we dare not complain because we don’t want to risk being sent back to North Korea to face imprisonment or execution. The trafficker wanted to have sex with me and I didn’t even know what sex was. My mother offered herself instead and she was raped in front of my eyes. She sacrificed herself, the most beautiful thing that any mother can do. After, she was sold for 55 dollars and I was sold for 250 dollars. My mother and I got separated from that moment for four or five months. The man who bought me offered me a deal, that if I became his mistress, he would buy my mother and bring my father from North Korea. I sacrificed myself so that I could be reunited with my parents.

  To me everything was new and I felt like a time traveller.

  We spent almost two years in China. My father passed away from the colon cancer that he got in prison and then, when I was 15 years old, the man who had bought me let me go. My mother and I knew that if we got out of China, we could find asylum, so we decided to cross the frozen Gobi desert into Mongolia. We chose a winter’s night in February, as we thought that no one would suspect that we would be crazy enough to cross when it was really cold. We avoided the guards and followed a compass and then, when that broke, we followed the North Star to freedom.

  My whole life was full of horror, full of misery and full of injustice and I could never have imagined this kind of paradise where people don’t have to worry about where their next meal is coming from.

  In Mongolia we were asked to take off our clothes and they searched us. And then, after several months, we were flown to South Korea and, at the age of 15, I became free for the first time. I had never seen an airport before – I had never even seen an escalator or toilet paper.

  To me everything was new and I felt like a time traveller. In South Korea they sent me to a resettlement centre for three months and there I learned about all these new things: the internet, how to take a selfie and what was American.

  My mother is still living in South Korea but now I am in New York and studying at Columbia University. After I wrote my memoir, I travelled to promote my book and I visited New York many times and decided I would like to live here. I am excited to be living in this city.

  My whole life was full of horror, full of misery and full of injustice and I could never have imagined this kind of paradise where people don’t have to worry about where their next meal is coming from. In North Korea the regime told me what to do and the man who bought me in China told me what to do and, at first, it was very hard to be in charge of my life, but owning yourself is the biggest beauty of life in this free world.

  My challenge is to master English and to keep sharing my story, in the hope that it can help to bring change and, somehow, a day when North Korea is free. Then I want to go home.

  Yeonmi’s Object

  A razor. When we were crossing the desert, my mother and I carried poison and razors. I kept my razor, which was small and very sharp, in my bag and I would have cut my wrists rather than be arrested and sent back to North Korea where I would die anyway. Killing myself was the only thing to do. No one wants to die, but some people in this world don’t have options.

  YEONMI PARK

  North Korean human rights activist

  AVA DUVERNAY

  Ava DuVernay is a film writer, producer, director and distributor. Her 2014 film Selma, about Martin Luther King’s 1965 campaign to secure equal voting rights by marching from Selma to Montgomery, Alabama, was nominated for the 2015 Academy Award (Oscar) for Best Picture. Her previous film, Middle of Nowhere, won the 2012 Sundance Film Festival Best Director Award. She graduated from the University of California, Los Angeles with a double major in English and African American studies, and then worked as a film publicist. Her award-winning distribution company ARRAY (previously AFFRM) has undertaken more than 120 film and television campaigns for various acclaimed directors. It focuses on films made by people of colour and by women.

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  I grew up in Compton, Los Angeles, California. Most people would regard it as a rough neighbourhood but for me it was a beautiful place. I had an amazing childhood, surrounded by family and friends and happy times. I went to an all-girls Catholic school, and wore a grey wool skirt from first grade to twelfth grade – very fashionable! At the time I wished that I was in a school with boys but I look back now and realise that attending a single-sex school allowed me to focus on friendships, sisterhood and my studies, which was very important.

  When I graduated from college, I got into film publicity. I loved film so I wanted to work around it, but I never thought that I could be the film-maker. Then I found myself on many sets, engaging in long conversations with film-makers, and I started to believe that I could do it, too. And so I gave it a try. That was really my film school – being around other film-makers, then just picking up a camera and going for it.

  At that time I was practising art-making for the very first time. I didn’t grow up around artists, and I don’t come from a family of artists. I started with documentaries, because I thought it would be safe to start with something I knew. This is the Life, my very first film, chronicled a little-known arts scene that was thriving in the place where I was from. I was part of the hip-hop generation, really loving what the music was expressing. It felt like it was speaking to and for me. All the people in the scene I knew personally, so I was able to get some great interviews and great footage. It was a remarkable experience. I had people around me who really wanted me to succeed, so it was a warm experience and a good first effort – and from there I was hooked.

  I like having a sense of independence and that comes from doing things for yourself and doing them well. I like to know all of the parts of the process. Writing, directing, producing, financing, distributing and publicising my own first films really gave me a grasp of the full film-making process and the craft of it. A lot of film-makers seem to think their job is finished when they call ‘cut’ but there’s so much more that goes into connecting a film with its audience, and that’s a part of it that I really, really enjoy.

  At the time I wished that I was in a school with boys but I look back now and realise that attending a single-sex school allowed me to focus on friendships, sisterhood and my studies, which was very important.

  I financed This is the Life from pay cheque to pay cheque. I would get paid for publicising someone else’s film and then I would put it into my own film. For my second film, I Will Follow, which was my first narrative film, I took the $50,000 I had been saving for a house and financed and green-lit my first movie. I Will Follow was championed by critic Roger Ebert, who got a lot of people to notice it. Then my next film, Middle of Nowhere, got into Sundance and from there I was up and running.

  In the early parts of making Selma, I didn’t really believe it was going to happen, even as I was making it. My father is from Montgomery, Alabama, which is very close to Selma, so I knew the place itself because I’d visited so many times with my dad, going back to his birthplace. I felt like I really had a handle on what I wanted to tell about that time in history and so I just started telling the story. And before you know it, it was in theatres – it was a very quick turnarou
nd. It was so fast that I really never had a chance to think, ‘Oh my gosh, can I do this?’ I just thought, ‘I’m going to keep going until someone tells me to stop.’

  I felt like I really had a handle on what I wanted to tell about that time in history and so I just started telling the story.

  If I find collaborators whom I feel are like-minded, then I’m happy to do things together. But as a black woman film-maker – and there aren’t many of us around – there isn’t a lot of support. So instead of not doing something, I just figure out a way to do it without the support. As you start to create your own work, like-minded people come around you and you attract help and all the things that you need – but you can never attract those things if you’re sitting still. You have to be moving and doing something in order to draw it all to you. So I always try to keep moving and keep creating. It’s not easy – but it’s not hard, either. It’s not hard to say, ‘I believe in myself.’ It’s not hard to do something every single day that gets you closer to the things that you want to achieve. It’s sometimes challenging, but more than anything it’s exhilarating and I just embrace it. Some days you fail, but at least you’ve tried.

  The landscape has completely changed from what it was when I first started my distribution company in 2010. We now have Netflix, Amazon, all of these platforms where you can stream. The traditional walls have all collapsed. It’s an incredible time to be an artist, an incredible time to be a film-maker, especially for people who had been left out of the old model – women, people of colour. Now everything’s open, so it’s on us to figure out where we want to be, to insert ourselves into the process, create new paths, and I find it very exciting to think, ‘I’m not going to continue knocking on that old door that doesn’t open for me. I’m going to create my own door and walk through that.’

  Work without permission. So many of us work from a permission-based place and we don’t even know it.

  I always say the same thing – work without permission. So many of us work from a permission-based place and we don’t even know it. We’re waiting for someone to say it’s OK, waiting for someone to give us a green light, give us money, tell us how to do it, shepherd us through. Some people get lucky, but most of us have to do it for ourselves, and the sooner you realise that, the sooner you step out and begin. Just begin and you will start to find your momentum. That’s a very simple piece of advice, but so often I hear people asking, ‘How do I get started, how do I do this?’ You just start. It won’t be perfect. It’ll be messy and it’ll be hard, but you’re doing something and you’re on your way.

  Ava’s Object

  My journal. When I began practising reflection daily, my faith and focus expanded in a beautiful way.

  AVA DUVERNAY

  Film director, screenwriter and founder, ARRAY Film Distribution

  LUCY BRONZE

  Footballer Lucy Bronze plays for the England national squad, and for Manchester City Women in the Football Association Women’s Super League, the highest league of women’s football in England. In 2014, she won the Professional Footballers’ Association Women’s Players’ Player of the Year Award. Primarily a right back, she can play in a variety of defensive and midfield positions and has represented England at every level, from the Under-17s to international matches. She played for England at Euro 2013, and was acknowledged as the star of the tournament in the 2015 Women’s World Cup, where the team, known as the Lionesses, achieved third place – the best performance by a senior England side since the men’s team won the World Cup in 1966.

  * * *

  My brother’s just under two years older than I am and I adored him. He loved football and I loved what he loved. I started kicking a ball as soon as I could walk. My parents didn’t ever push me. They simply said, ‘Do what you want, play sport, be active,’ and I played all kinds of sports – I was good at tennis, but I didn’t like playing on my own. I liked being in a team.

  I was the only girl who played football in my entire region – rural north Northumberland. I played with the boys, and I’d never seen another girl playing football, let alone played against another girl. At the time, you weren’t allowed to play in a mixed team once you turned 12, so the FA wanted to ban me from the boys’ team. My mum and dad didn’t know a lot about football at first, but by then I’d decided that I loved it. Football was what I wanted, and my mum got so headstrong when someone told me I couldn’t do it because I was a girl – and so did my grandmother and my aunt, all strong, powerful women. My mum wrote to the FA and my aunt got in touch with lawyers. It was a case of you can’t say that to my daughter, or my granddaughter, or my niece. [In 2014, the Football Association, the governing body of English football, voted unanimously to raise the age limit of mixed teams to 16.]

  When the FA said I couldn’t play any more, that was the turning point for my mum. She has probably been the biggest influence in getting me to where I want to be. In terms of what she’s done for me, I don’t think I could have asked for more. My coach said to her, ‘You need to make sure Lucy keeps playing because she’ll play for England.’ I was 11 and he’d never said anything like that before. I didn’t feel like anything special, but my mum and dad did everything they could to help me succeed. They drove me all over the country and, after that, I played with girls. Since then, every coach has said the same thing as my first one. Mum didn’t realise how good I was and nor did I, because I hadn’t had anyone to compare myself with. Once I started playing with girls, it was easier to see my standard.

  I’ve been proud of lots of different things but 2015, the year of the World Cup, was a really big one for me. I’ve always been a good player, I’m consistent, I work hard, but I never really stood out until then. Before that, in England everyone knew who I was. Now people around the world know who I am. The World Cup was a huge highlight for me personally. It’s changed my life in terms of perception and expectations.

  To succeed at sport, the first thing is that it has to be something you love. If you don’t have the love, you won’t have the passion or the motivation.

  There are 20 or 30 girls in the squad, of different ages, from different places, with different personalities. While we’re all very competitive and driven, we tend to be quite caring as well – it’s stereotypical of women, perhaps, but it’s true. We all want to play, but we don’t get too caught up in who actually plays – the team comes first. If someone’s playing better than I am, I’d want them to be chosen for the match. I wouldn’t want to let the team down.

  To succeed at sport, the first thing is that it has to be something you love. If you don’t have the love, you won’t have the passion or the motivation. After that, you have to be driven – you really have to want it, and you have to focus. Ability-wise, I’m not the best, and I’m probably not the smartest, but if I push myself … The best players in the world, men and women, are so driven. Ability comes in handy but it’s also about the hard work and motivation that comes with it. That’s what all the England team has in some way, shape or form.

  I think there’s pressure put on girls when they’re younger, so they want to be pretty little girls and look nice. Boys aren’t scared to jump in mud and get dirty. The boys see male footballers, athletes and rugby players, and they don’t care what they look like – they just want to win. When I was younger, I didn’t really know about sportswomen. For me, tennis and athletics were the standout sports for women, and now we’re seeing football, cricket and rugby, too. We need girls to play at a high level to act as role models for those coming up. My generation is doing that. The girls who are ten years younger than us have far more accessible role models than we had.

  Football is the biggest sport in the UK and it’s loved worldwide, but what girls see is men playing. Once you do tap into the women’s side of it, though, you find that loads of women are playing.

  There is progress but it still doesn’t compare to male sports – there have been male footballers on television since there’s been television, but fem
ales only for the past few years. Football is the biggest sport in the UK and it’s loved worldwide, but what girls see is men playing. Once you do tap into the women’s side of it, though, you find that loads of women are playing. Kelly Smith’s always been a huge standout for me – an English player who has been the best in the world. She’s set the bar up there, something to push for. She was the one and only female player I’d heard of when I started to look into women’s football. To play for England before Kelly Smith retired was always a huge target for me, and I made it. I played four or five games with her.

  To a certain extent, being passionate about something makes you a leader. I want to do well as an individual, I want the teams to do well, I want the sport to do well, so I talk about it a lot and I feel I’m a leader in that way. Things I’m involved with, I get quite passionate, and stubborn, about. I don’t like people being negative about me, my teams or my sport and I will stick up for all of them.

  I like to push myself. I’d hate to live my life regretting that I didn’t do something that made me better, not just a player but as a person. If it turns out I’m not good enough, OK, I’m not good enough – but it gives me confidence knowing that I’ve done my best and couldn’t have given any more.

  Lucy’s Object

  A football. When you’re playing football you’re not thinking about anything else. You could have uni work, school work, you could be getting bullied at school, have family problems, anything at all; but when you’re playing football, you’re just thinking about the football. And any time I’m playing football, I’m enjoying myself!